


Josh Lyman is an Idiot

by Tyrols



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode: s03e04 On the Day Before, Episode: s03e05 War Crimes, F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:34:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyrols/pseuds/Tyrols
Summary: This started as a missing scene from the end of s03e04 On the Day Before and extended scene from s03e05 War Crimes, but it's grown from there. Josh Lyman is definitely an idiot.
Relationships: Josh Lyman/Donna Moss
Comments: 12
Kudos: 62





	1. Finding Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh learns some new information, but it's really only new to him.

As the President dismissed them from the Oval office to make that horrible phone call, Josh couldn’t help but feel preoccupied. “What a shit day,” he spat bitterly.

“I thought your thing with the Governor went well?” Toby asked, walking in stride with him.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. He’s got to be on the short list for Labor, but he’s going to back off.” Suddenly Josh did not care nearly as much what the Governor of Indiana was going to do.

Toby looked at him quizzically. “So, you got that and the override failed. Sure, the end sucked pretty bad, but the whole day wasn’t a complete loss.”

Josh scoffed. “And since when you are ‘half-glass-full’ kind of guy?”

“Since when are you not? I mean, since when are you not annoyingly gleeful when we get one over on the House of Representatives?”

Josh didn’t answer. They had reached Toby’s office without him even realizing where he was going.

“Drink?” Toby held up the bottle of Jack he kept his in office for ‘emergencies’. Josh replied with a curt nod as his friend poured a couple fingers worth into two glasses. He threw himself down onto the couch and took the glass he was handed.

He downed the dark liquor in one swallow, which elicited a suspicious look from Toby.

“Okay, seriously, what is with you?”

Josh opened his mouth to give a non-answer when he was cut-off.

“Knock! knock!”

The southern drawl of Ainsley Hayes sent heat through Josh’s body. He could feel the emotion he’d been trying to quell rise up.

“Toby, I looked over the WTO speech. There is a few areas where I suggest we tweak the language, but overall there is nothing legally dubious in there,” she stated, handing Toby a blue folder with sticky notes on it. He gave her his thanks.

“Hey Josh,” she added, having just noticed him sitting on the couch.

His brain was telling him not to do it, but his feelings were quickly overtaking that and causing his restraint to steadily slip. He stood up so that he was face to face with her.

“Listen Ainsley,” he snarled, “do me a favor and keep your Republican friends on other side of the moat. You may be here, but that doesn’t mean we need more of you worming your way in, okay?” 

Josh could feel the heat of his anger radiating off of him. He knew he was taking this too far, but he couldn’t stop himself. She crossed her arms and surveyed him, looking anything but pleased.

“Josh,” Toby started, but Ainsley cut in.

“Is this about Cliff?” she chided, her face a mixture of smug understanding and offense.

“Is that his name? I usually make it a point to avoid getting on a first name basis with Republicans.” His tone was still venomous.

She pressed her lips together into a tight line and watched him again. Taking a haughty breath, she said, “Well, I think this has been wholly unprofessional and insulting on a number of levels, so I’m just gonna go.”

“Whatever,” Josh snapped as she moved to leave. “Just stay away from Donna,” he called after her.

Josh threw himself back down on to the couch, still seething, but a bit of guilt was starting to seep in. Ainsley was hardly the real subject of his anger and he unloaded on her anyways.

“Are you going to tell me what the hell that was?” Toby chimed in, breaking Josh’s revery.

He sighed heavily. “Ainsley set Donna up on a date with the Majority Council on Ways and Means,” he said bitterly.

“And?”

“And, as it turns out, he is actually being transferred from Ways and Means to Judiciary!”

“Okay, well that—”

“She can’t be seen with opposing Council during the MS hearings!” Josh interrupted.

Toby paused. “And Donna told you about this date?”

“Dates, plural. Two of them,” Josh grunted. “I told her should couldn’t see him any more.”

“And what did she say?”

“What?”

“What did Donna say when you told her she couldn’t see this guy anymore?” Toby spoke slower to punctuate his question.

Josh stared at him for a second as he tired to organize his thoughts. “She said fine. She said she knew she couldn’t. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Isn’t that kind of, I don’t know, the whole thing? If she agreed not to see him anymore, I see no problem.” Toby prodded.

“Ainsley told her he was with Ways and Means when she accepted the date. She knew I was battling them on the Estate Tax!” Josh stood up and began to pace now. “And then! And then, when she finds out about the transfer to Judiciary, she sees him again the next day!” He scoffed and raked his hand through his hair roughly. “I mean, between the Blue Dogs in the House, a Governor looking to primary a sitting president and this, I mean, has no one heard of loyalty anymore?”

“Yeah, because this Donna thing is definitely equal to those other things,” Toby quipped and Josh glared at him. “Is there any possibility you are taking this thing just a little too personally?”

“I’m not taking it personally! This… this isn’t about me!” Josh instead, his voice getting high. He started gesturing forcefully, as if it made his words sound more convincing. “This is about the integrity of this administration, Toby!”

“Oh, of course,” Toby’s brow furrowed and he nodded sardonically.

“You should be mad about this! You’re mad about everything, so be mad about this too.”

Toby shrugged and said dryly, “I’ve decided to change my ways. Toby 2.0. New and improved.” He took a long drink from his glass, looking unperturbed.

“For years I’ve been dealing with a curmudgeon and the one time I need you to fulfill that roll, you’ve decided to change! Great! Just great!” Josh threw himself back down on to the couch.

Toby rolled his eyes dramatically and moved to sit behind his desk. “Okay, I can’t talk to you if you’re going to be an idiot. If you’re going to wallow, do it in your own office.”

—————

“Donna thinks you’re still pissed at her,” Sam said, looking to get his mind away from pennies for a few moments.

He saw guilt flit across Josh’s face as he leaned against the door frame to Sam’s office. “I’m not. I wasn’t before. When did she tell you that?”

“Before she left.”

“You heard from her?”

“No.”

“She should be done by now,” Josh muttered.

Sam watched his friend for a few moments. “So, why are you pissed at her?”

“I said I wasn’t,” he protested, but the guilt was still on his face.

“Why are you pissed at her?” Sam asked again.

“Sam…”

“Why are you whining?” Toby had just entered the bullpen, walking between Josh and Sam.

“I was just asking him why he’s mad at Donna.”

Toby stopped and looked over at Josh, “You’re still mad at her?”

“Wait, you know?” Sam objected.

“I’m not mad! I was never mad!”

Toby gave him an incredulous look. “That’s what you’re going with? Just straight denial?”

Josh looked uncomfortable. “Can we stop talking about this, please?”

“No, now I’m invested. I want to know why you are mad at Donna and why you discussed it with Toby instead of me?” Sam needled.

Josh looked like was going to argue further, but then his shoulders slumped. “Not in the bullpen,” he mumbled stepping further into Sam’s office.

“I thought you already knew?” Sam gestured to Toby, who had followed them into the office and shut the door behind him.

“Yeah, but it’s going to be amusing watching him rehash it all again,” he smirked.

“So much for Toby 2.0,” Josh sneered.

Clearly impatient, Sam turned to Josh. “Okay, so tell me.”

“It’s really not a big deal. I think you’ve built it up.”

“Just tell me.”

“Fine,” Josh huffed before telling Sam the story of Donna and the Majority Council, who he now knew was named Cliff Calley.

“Wait, so, right now Donna’s giving a deposition to someone she slept with?” Sam considered with wide eyes.

“You think she slept with him?” Josh interjected a bit too loudly, eyes equally as wide as Sam’s now.

Toby was in the corner stifling a laugh and Josh looked like he was going to be sick.

“Josh, why are you so bent out of shape about this? You said she told you this days ago.” Sam studied him. “Donna goes out with lots of guys.”

“Okay, first of all, let’s not say it like that… ‘lots of guys,’” he shot at Sam. “And secondly, she knew he was on Ways and Means when she accepted the date and she knew he was being transferred to Judiciary when she saw him again!”

Sam looked over at Toby to be provide clarification, but he was just shaking his head and grinning wildly. He turned back to Josh, exasperated. “Do you think she is still seeing him?”

“No! No, she told me she knew she couldn’t.”

“Okay,” Sam drew out the word. “I mean, it’s hardly ideal and no one would have advised her to see someone from Judiciary, but it was only two dates. What’s the problem?”

Toby finally decided this was his time to jump in. “Loyalty.” He still had the sardonic grin on his face.

Sam looked from Toby to Josh, eyebrows raised. “Because he was with Ways and Means?”

“Not just that! He’s a Republican! And a lawyer! He can’t be trusted!”

Nearly beside himself now, Sam threw his hands up. “Josh! You’re a lawyer! I’m a lawyer! You come from a family of lawyers!”

Josh waved him off. “That’s not the point.”

“What _is_ the point?” Toby prodded, titling his head and giving Josh a quizzical look.

Josh’s brow furrowed. “The point is,” he paused. “The point is that Donna,” he stopped again. “You see, what you guys are missing is…”

“I always knew he was lying about that 760 verbal,” Sam commented to Toby with a knowing grin on his face.

“I was not lying about that! You can call my mother!” Josh retorted.

At that, Toby and Sam both burst into laughter as Josh stood there, eyes narrowed at them both.

“I am honestly surprised to see our crack Communications Team thinks this PR nightmare is so hilarious!” He grumbled.

“Yeah, _that_ is the PR nightmare,” Sam quipped, as he and Toby finally began to compose themselves.

“How is it not?”

“Well, it could be if anyone started to draw a lot of unnecessary attention to it,” Toby deadpanned with a meaningful expression.

“It would probably become a bigger story if the press found out it was part of a love triangle,” Sam nodded to Toby.

“Yes, I can see how that would give CJ some trouble in the briefing room,” Toby acknowledged to Sam, ignoring Josh.

“Probably eat up a few news cycles—”

“What the hell are you two talking about?!” Josh interrupted, looking severely disgruntled.

Sam looked at his friend with a pitying expression, but it was Toby who spoke, “You really are an idiot, you know that?”

Josh looked indignant for a moment before his expression changed. “What the—wait. Why?”

“Do you really not know?” Sam asked quizzically.

“Know what? You guys are really starting to annoy me!”

Sam and Toby exchanged looks as Sam turned fully to face his friend. “That you’re in love with Donna.”

Josh’s face paled at once. “I’m..I’m.. What? I am not…” he stuttered. He took a deep breath, “I am not in love with Donna. Do I love her? Of course! But am I _in love_ with her? That’s…” Sam and Toby watched as Josh’s eyes grew wider and wider as he considered the conversation.

After a few moments of silence he finally choked, “Oh my God! Why didn’t you guys tell me?” He looked panic stricken.

Once again Sam and Toby exchanged looks. “We thought you _knew_.”

“Well, I did not know! I can’t be in—I can’t… I. Dammit!” Josh swore as he tore out of Sam’s office, ignoring the wild laughter that had resumed behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am considering expanding this. If I don't, Josh is Josh and does nothing with his new information, but if I do expand it, perhaps Josh takes some action on this epiphany. Let me know if you'd be interested in that.
> 
> Also, cheers to a classic FRIENDS moment at the end there. After I used that, I chuckled because I remembered that the fountain in War Crimes is the same one from the FRIENDS intro.


	2. Just Maybe It's Mutual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of War Crimes with added, modified, and extended scenes.

Josh was pacing in his office, trying to process this new information, which, according to Toby and Sam was actually old information. His office suddenly felt stifling, so he wandered out into the bullpen and found himself inexplicably standing at Donna’s desk. The sound of hurried footsteps caused him look up and see Donna approaching.

“How’d it go?”

“I really ned to talk to you for a second,” she says breathlessly.

Josh’s chest tightened at the anxiety in her voice. “What happened?”

She looked at him with an expression of full panic now. “I need to just... Can we go in your office?” She moved passed him towards it, not waiting for a response.

He closed the door and rounded on her. “What happened?”

“I was asked if I kept a diary, and I said no, only I do keep a diary.”

“Why did you say you didn’t?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“Nothing in the diary is relevant. I'm the only one—”

“Is there anyone else in the witness list who knows you keep a diary?” Josh interrupts.

“Well, there's nobody who knows I keep a diary, except the thing is,” she pauses, “Cliff saw it.”

Josh’s heart dropped into his stomach and he stared at her for a moment before being able to speak. “What do you mean?”

“Cliff came to me after the deposition and told me he saw the diary when he was in my apartment.”

Josh walked around behind his desk. He kept his back to her for a moment, having needed a second to process everything he was hearing. At once, Sam’s voice was in his head, “Donna’s giving a deposition to someone she slept with,” and images that made him sick started form in his mind, but he pushed them away. That can’t be what he focused on right now.

“I swear it wasn't premeditated. Nothing in it was material. Nothing in it was—”

Josh looked at her with intensity. “You don't get to decide that! You don't get to decide what's material and what isn't, Donna!”

She looked as frightened as he felt. “Please keep your voice down.”

Josh had resumed his pacing. “This is how it happens. They got nothing on the President with MS. They're trolling, then you go in and hand them a—”

“I know,” she interrupted.

His mind started to run through thoughts of Donna in a court room, of her being charged with perjury. “You were subpoenaed! You were under oath! You answer the damn question!”

“I screwed up,” she replied in the smallest voice. He looked back at her and he couldn’t stand it any longer. Moving around the desk he pulled her into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered into his shoulder.

“I know,” he squeezed her tighter and buried his face in the crook of her neck. “I’m going to fix it. It’s going to be fine.”

She pulled away to look at him. “How? How can we fix it?”

He studied her face. She looked so unsure, so vulnerable. He wasn’t used to seeing that from her. Even when she felt insecure, she always found a way to mask it, to give off an air of confidence even when she wasn’t feeling it. She did not often let her guard down like this and Josh knew how real this was. “I’m not sure yet,” he started. He wanted to put everything he felt into his words. “But, I promise you, _I promise you_ , it is going to be fine. I will make it fine.”

Without even thinking the back of his fingers were sliding down the length of her cheek. “Donna…”

A loud knock on the door made them jump apart. “Josh! Are you in there?” came CJ’s voice from outside, followed by another loud knock. Josh moved to open the door.

“Josh—” she paused when she saw Donna. “Oh, Donna, how was the thing?”

“It was fine,” she murmured as she pushed past her to leave the office. Josh watched her go longingly.

“Josh?” CJ challenged, pulling him back to her attention.

Reluctantly, he pulled his eyes away from Donna to look at CJ. “Yeah, what’s up?”

She had her eyes narrowed at him. “Josh,” she said again, having followed where his gaze went. “What’s going on? Are you being an idiot?”

He met her eyes firmly. “Nothing. Nothing’s going on. I’m not being an idiot. What did you need?”

The look on her face told him she suspected much more than she would ever admit to him and that any denial he gave right now would fall on deaf ears. He held her gaze, but said nothing further, trying to will her to drop it, at least for now.

Finally, she said, “I need you to brief me about the thing before tomorrow.”

He tried to hide his relief, but he could be sure how successful he was. “Okay, let’s do it.”

“Why are you doing this, Josh?” Cliff Calley's voice hummed in Josh's ear through the cell phone.

“Listen, are you going to meet me or not?”

“I want to know why you're doing this.”

Josh sighed heavily. “Cliff, do you care about Donna?”

“Of course, I do! That’s why I confronted her after. I offered to help her walk it back. She refused me.” Josh couldn’t help but notice the dejection in Cliff’s tone.

“If you care about her, you’ll meet me.”

There was a pause and then, “Eleven o’clock?”

“Yeah.” He felt some solace at having at least gotten this far.

Josh was about to hang up when Cliff said, “Bring her.”

“What?”

“Bring Donna.”

“No!”

“Bring her or I’m not coming.”

“Why?”

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” Cliff quipped, clearly trying to goad Josh.

“Fine. Be there at eleven.”

“Fine.” And then the line clicked.

Josh snapped his phone shut and threw it on the desk. Sitting back in his chair he ran his fingers roughly through his hair and tried to forget about the sick feeling in the bit of his stomach. If he still had any doubt after his conversation with Sam and Toby, it was long gone now. If covering up perjury from a congressional subpoena wasn't love, he wasn’t sure what was. But he never even questioned doing this. Not for a second did he believe he wouldn’t do what ever it took to make this right, to protect her.

“DONNA!”

A moment later she opened the door tentatively before entering the office and closing it again behind her. “Is he going to do it?”

“Yeah. Yeah, he’s going to do it. You need to go home and get it, okay?”

She nodded, her lips pressed together tightly. “Okay. What time?”

“Eleven. It’s quarter to ten now, so take a cab, don’t take the metro. You’ll never make it back in time.”

She nodded again before leaving his office.

“Where have you been? Didn’t you take a cab?”

“Yes, Josh.” Donna gave him an exasperated look. “We got stuck at Dupont Circle.”

“At this time of day?”

“I can’t control traffic, you know!” She gave Josh a look that told him not to press her further. He knew they were both anxious and snarking at each other would do nothing to lessen that.

“Okay, alright,” he nodded. “Let’s just go.”

They sat down on the bench near the fountain and even without touching her, Josh could feel how tense Donna was. He looked over at the leather bound book on her lap, her hands resting on top of it protectively. “Did you write about Cliff in that?”

He notices Donna tense even more. “Yes,” she concedes stiffly.

Josh takes a deep breath and wills himself to stay focused on the task at hand. “Remove those pages,” he tells her.

“What?”

“Remove the pages. That’s our leverage.”

She looked at him with a curious expression. “Isn’t that just doubling down on the lie?”

“Donna, please. This is what we need to do.”

She turned her eyes back to the book in her lap and nodded. Opening the book, she found the pages she needed and gently tore them out. “October fourth and fifth,” she explained, holding them out to him, not meeting his eye.

Reluctantly, he folded them and placed them in the inside pocket of his jacket. “I won’t read them. I promise.”

“Thank you.”

A moment later Josh saw Cliff appear from behind the fountain. “Stay here,” he instructed Donna before reaching for the diary she was clinging to.

Next to the fountain, Josh approached Cliff. “There's a coffee shop across the street. You can read it there. You've got an hour,” he said with finality. “I haven't read it, but if anything bothers you, you'll issue a subpoena in the morning. You'll have it back before the end of the day. If not, that's that.” He hoped he was making himself perfectly clear.

“Yeah.” Josh was pleased to see that Cliff looked uncomfortable.

“If I read any of this in the newspaper, or anything happens I don't like,” he threatened, “I’ve got the entries for October fourth and fifth.”

“What's October fourth and fifth?”

“You,” Josh pointed at him.

Cliff nodded his assent. “That’s fair.” He paused and looked over at Donna, who had turned away from them. “Thank you.”

Josh hands him and diary and watches Cliff turn and walk away from him. After his far enough away, Josh returns to the bench. Donna doesn’t look at him as he sits down.

“It's starting to get cold already.” She doesn’t respond, but he sees the expression on her face is full of concern. He puts his arm around her and pulls her to him. “It’s going to be fine. I promised you it was going to be fine and it will be.”

They sat together in uneasy silence for several minutes.

Donna leans into him more. “I’m sorry.”

It’s his turn not to reply right away. He turned to kiss the top of her head, partly to comfort her and partly to give him another second to think.

“Why did you lie, Donna? I just don’t understand that. That’s not like you, at all.”

“Josh, I said I was sorry.” Her voice had no anger in it, only what sounded like trepidation.

“I know. I know you are, but that doesn’t explain why.”

She didn’t respond and Josh decided to let it drop for the moment. He wanted to know, he needed to know what would make her lie, but for now, he let it drop.

Forty-five minutes later Cliff appeared again on the other side of the fountain.

“Josh…” Donna nudged him, indicating Cliff walking towards them.

He extracted himself from around Donna to meet the him before he got too close.

“I’d like to speak to her,” Cliff began.

“Like hell you are,” Josh scoffed.

Cliff looked affronted. “What do you think I’m going to do?”

“It doesn’t matter, because you’re not going to speak to her.”

He leans around Josh then, “I know why you did it, Donna!” he spoke loudly, so she could hear. Donna looked up at him, eyes wide.

“Hey! What did I say?” Josh put his hand on Cliff’s chest forcefully.

Cliff put his hands up and took a step back. “I just needed her to know.”

“What are you going to do with that?”

He handed Josh the leather-bound book. “Nothing in here is material to the case,” he confirmed. Josh grasped the diary, but Cliff did not let go. “But I now know why she lied. _And_ why it never would have worked between her and I.” He gave Josh an intense look before releasing his grip on the diary.

Cliff began to walk back the way he came, but stopped and looked back over his shoulder. “Don’t be an idiot, Lyman,” he said, before striding purposefully away.

Josh watched him for a few moments until the darkness had begun to envelop him. He looked back over at Donna who was watching him cautiously.

“What did he say to you?” she questioned, as he sat down next to her again.

He locked eyes with her and tried to read her mind. “Donna, why did you lie?”

She didn’t break their gaze, but he could see the fear creeping into her expression. “To protect you,” she breathed. She must have understood his confusion from his furrowed brow, because she reluctantly continued. “I wrote about Rosslyn, and your recovery, and,” she paused to take a deep breath. “And your PTSD. I knew that was a secret you’d never want to get out and if I told them I kept a diary, they would have subpoenaed it. Something like that wouldn’t have remained secret for more than five minutes in Republican hands.”

Josh just studied her for a moment, not even sure if he was still breathing. And then, before he was really aware of what he was doing, he pressed his mouth to hers. His hand moved to cup her face and he poured all of his feelings into the kiss. He was so preoccupied by that, he failed to notice at once that she was kissing him too. The diary forgotten beside them, he pulled her closer as they sat together on that bench, in the middle of the night, completely lost in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for encouraging me to continue this! I think I am going to get one more chapter out of this. Thanks for reading!


End file.
